Fangasmic

Consider us kind of dubious about the new take on the King Arthur myth from the producers of Henry VIII Fucks A Lot of Women And There's Pretty Costumes. Camelot, a modern AU contemporary take on the legend, is set to air on the Starz network in early 2011. It was always going to have a lot to prove to folks who imprinted on Merlin, the BBC's more innocent, earnest, and totally gay version. And lo and behold, casting information on the new show has recently hit the interwebs and it's already giving us pause.

The female leads seem to be top notch if conventional choices- Eva Green, so cool and sly in Casino Royale, will be playing Morgana. Tamsin Egerton, who you might remember from her adorable and funny turn in St. Trinian's, aka that movie with the schoolgirls and the heisting and where Rupert Everett is in drag and has a total romantic subplot with Colin Firth where "Love Is A Many Splendored Thing" literally swells in the background when they look at each other, no really, I'm serious, has been cast as Guinevere. (No word yet on whether Tamsin is secretly a hussy.)

( But then we get to Merlin and Arthur. )

That aside, what do you guys think of how this show is shaping up? Anyone planning on watching?

Gather ‘round, children! It’s Fandom Storytime!

Once upon a time, long ago, when people were into The Professionals fandom- this was when dinosaurs roamed the earth and people still made vids with VCRs and shit- two fangirls were in a grocery store in California. They were on opposite ends of the produce section. One fangirl wanted the other fangirl to get broccoli, but didn’t want to yell, “HEY GIRL HEY GET SOME BROCCOLI YO," because that’s obnoxious.

And lo, there were broccoli charades (“You want me to pick up a nuclear bomb? Some testicles? What? What is that hand motion?") but it didn’t take (“You thought I was miming balls? Seriously? What’s wrong with you?"). When they finally reconvened, the first fangirl grumped that if it had been Doyle and Bodie of the Professionals going grocery shopping, Doyle would have been able to tell Bodie to get broccoli with the merest flick of an eyebrow instead of having to flap his hands like a drunk hummingbird. And thus the broccoli test was born.

“Passing the broccoli test" became fandom shorthand for the couple that could convey everything from “Don’t order the chicken here, it sucks" to “I love you and want to have your babies but I’m still too pent up by heteronormative standards of masculinity to act on it- wait for me!" in a single significant eye-fucking glance.

That said, failing the broccoli test doesn’t make your OTP less T; plenty of pairings fail the broccoli test with flying colors. I’m thinking of Ray Kowalski and Fraser from Due South, who only nailed the silent communication thing after they rode in a submarine and stole a Canadian pirate ship with Leslie Nielsen.


I’d really like some broccoli. Also, buttsex.


The broccoli test is an old school meme that hasn’t made the rounds in a while, so we here at Fanspastic thought it was time to revisit it with some new pairings.

( We spent 15 minutes trying to think of a hilarious quip to put here about broccoli that didn't devolve into a vegetable porn reference. We failed. )

Who did we miss? Put your pairings up to the test, fanspasticers!