fangasmic

So every few months, the enterprising perverts at Blindfold SPN remind us all why Supernatural is the most magical, prolapsed, amazing fandom in the universe. Similarly, every few months, the rest of the FG staff stop talking to me because all I want to do is tell them about amazing diaper kink fic that someone has kindly filled on that kink meme, thereby instantly invalidating any and all discussion about varying levels of filth evident in other fandoms.

So far this year, in addition to a worrisome new trend for, well, diapers, and a story calling for a "Jensen/Stallion" pairing that we will not explore at this juncture, I found this magical nugget:

I think we can all agree that we all saw the writing on the wall for this one. And that it will be femdom involving a double-headed dildo and awkwardly located papercuts.

stopitsomemore

Yes? You're so tweaking after days of off and on days of DDOS attacks on Livejournal that you'll read anything? Good, read this open letter I am writing to you, Fandom.

Fandom, I know that a lot of us gravitate toward you in order to find balance in the annoyingly normish pallor of everyday life, but let it just be said here and now, this is not the way to do it:

This? This right here? This is not the right kind of attention you want to be drawing to yourself.

There are a couple of reasons this is incredibly gross and tremendously sad, chief among them being that this is the sort of thing that is mostly irreversible, your insurance sure as hell didn't cover this bullshit, and you look like a fucking moron. More than that, you make the rest of us look bad. You make Vulcans and elves look bad. This is on par with this action:

And also, this action:

So let's put this together in a handy flow chart for your decision making:

Thank you for your time.

thatneedslube

Wow, it's been awhile since I have showered you with the delights I find trawling through Delicious, hasn't it? I can fix that.

( Be warned, this is, as usual, full of terribleness. )

You guys are so lucky our editor was here and made me remove a few things from this post. This is my entire backlog of delicious caps. Now I can start fresh with the blood of Sherlock fandom. Be excited.

thatneedslube

FUCK NO.

I mean, everyone knows Batman knocks up Robin. Plus everyone smart knows that Superman's sperm could kill a man.

whyareyoulikethis

Take off your shirt and turn around, everyone. Get ready to feel the lash of Indiana Jones' whip on your back yet again.

Yes, that's right. In the latest installment of Franchises That Just Won't Die Why God, an Indiana Jones 5 movie is in the works, according to the SciFi Wire. But don't worry, apparently this one won't suck like the last one!

Sure. And maybe they'll call the fifth movie Indiana Jones and That Time I Tried To Drown Myself In My Extra Large Diet Coke At The Movie Theater.

I'm not so much disappointed in George Lucas. We expect this sort of thing from him. But Harrison Ford, why would you agree to this? Do you need help with your mortgage payments? We'll take up a collection. I swear!

thatneedslube

( Spoilers and also a great welling of sadness inside me not actually caused by Tom Welling, for which on some level I know I should be grateful but I'm too busy being PISSED )

TL;DR: I hate everything.

thatneedslube

Things I love:

1.) Kittens
2.) The Internets

Things that are usually amazing together:

1.) Kittens
2.) The Internets

But something is wrong, Fangasmic fans. Something terrible has just happened on the internet. Something is marring a beautiful Venn diagram I made awhile back. You can see the blight upon it's face:

CAN YOU SEE IT?? Cats were not meant to tweet! If they do, cat currency (the money of the internet) will lose all value! The market will crash! I will start following (more) cats on twitter!

This is a problem if I want to be able to sometimes pass for a norm, guys. We need to fight this shit.

thatneedslube

This morning

stopitsomemore sent me this link. Trapped in what I am told is a muddled state before significant amounts of coffee have been ingested, she believed that any plans for an American version of Torchwood had been completely derailed.

Fangasmic being your source for all things classy,

damngirl of course chimed in: Turchwad iz ded of Turchwad. :(

I think I might be the only member of the Fangasmic staff who hasn't finished watching Children of the Earth yet, but you can tell we take this action seriously because we refer to it as "Turchwad" while simultaneously rubbing ourselves inappropriately.

The good news is, Fox has basically turned down the chance. The bad news is, several other American networks are still interested.

Rose, this is why you shouldn't make people live forever but still age. Terrible things happen to them as time moves forward.

[karma] In Some Way, I Think We All Knew This Was Coming

[...] Hello, Fandom. Can We Talk?

[delicious] Danger, Danger, Probably Our Biggest, Failest Delicious Post Ever

[comics] EFF NO, BATMAN

[franchises] Like a bad penny indeed, Indiana.

[bad choices] Doctor Who: Last week

[love and hate] Kittens Plus Internets

[bad choices] Torchwood: USA

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