fangasmic

Take off your shirt and turn around, everyone. Get ready to feel the lash of Indiana Jones' whip on your back yet again.

Yes, that's right. In the latest installment of Franchises That Just Won't Die Why God, an Indiana Jones 5 movie is in the works, according to the SciFi Wire. But don't worry, apparently this one won't suck like the last one!

Sure. And maybe they'll call the fifth movie Indiana Jones and That Time I Tried To Drown Myself In My Extra Large Diet Coke At The Movie Theater.

I'm not so much disappointed in George Lucas. We expect this sort of thing from him. But Harrison Ford, why would you agree to this? Do you need help with your mortgage payments? We'll take up a collection. I swear!

whyareyoulikethis

Remember Tom Welling's remarks last week about the end of Smallville's run after Season 10? Remember that? Remember when it seemed for a brief, glorious moment that someone would put the show and me out of our misery?

Unfortunately, as E! online reports, probably after getting the smackdown from the CW's PR department about spilling those beans, Tom has backpedaled:

In fact, Tom wants fans to be so fulfilled, he had some extra-encouraging, and truly surprising words on whether or not this is seriously Smallville's final season. "You never know," he told me with that million dollar grin of his. "If you don't know this already, as a fan you guys have all the power. The more people that watch, the more chance the show has to continue."

You're just messing with me, aren't you, Tom Welling? YOU ARE, AREN'T YOU? WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? I SAY: NO TAKEBACKS! FURTHERMORE, IF I EVER SEE YOU IN THE STREET I AM CROSSING TO THE OTHER SIDE AND PRETENDING REALLY HARD LIKE YOU DON'T EXIST. SO THERE.

whyareyoulikethis

24 HAS BEEN CANCELLED AT LAST

THIS IS LIKE OLD YELLER. IT'S LIKE FINALLY PUTTING A RABID TERRORIST DOG OUT OF IT'S MISERY. PROBABLY BY WATERBOARDING IT AND THEN BLOWING IT UP IN A PLANE RATHER THAN SHOOTING IT, BECAUSE THAT WAS- WAS- HOW 24 ROLLED. KIEFER SUTHERLAND, YOU ARE NOW FREE TO GO COLLECT MUG SHOTS AND DUI ARRESTS AND LEAVE OUR TVS ALONE. REJOICE!

ETA: NEVERMIND. BALLS.

[franchises] Like a bad penny indeed, Indiana.

[vendettas] It's on, Tom Welling. IT'S ON.

THANK GOD IT'S ABOUT EFFING TIME

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