fangasmic

As we have discussed many times in the past, porn is very important to the FG staff. So is Star Wars. So naturally, it would be very important to us to discuss the intersection of these two things in an unholy marriage:

Award-winning director Axel Braun announced today at the Geekscape Comic Con booth that he has started pre-production on Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody, to be exclusively distributed by adult powerhouse Vivid Entertainment.

The ambitious project will mark Vivid's first foray into the increasingly popular 3D format, and is set for release in September 2011.

-- Source

It's apparently going to be the most expensive porn ever made, to which I say, "WE WILL SEE, AXEL BRAUN, WE SHALL SEE," as I clutch at my copy of Pirates and its sequel, Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge.

stopitsomemore

Specifically, Skarsgard and Thomas sort of humping. Against a wall. In a room that looks shittier than the first apartment I lived in after I left college.

stopitsomemore: ...OKAY OH MY GOD

stopitsomemore: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xdyuv5_uh-oh-askars-skarsgard_shortfilms?start=1#from=embed

whyareyoulikethis: is it more or less terrifying with the sound on?

stopitsomemore: i --

stopitsomemore: it's just --

stopitsomemore: i

stopitsomemore: ALEXANDER SKARSGARD

stopitsomemore: WHAT THE FUCK

whyareyoulikethis: ahaha that dude is being air guitar dubconned or something.

stopitsomemore: RIGHT?

whyareyoulikethis: WTF IS THIS?????

stopitsomemore: I DON'T KNOW

stopitsomemore: I'M TRYIN TO THINK

stopitsomemore: OF HOW TO DESCRIBE THIS

stopitsomemore: FOR FG

whyareyoulikethis: I SHOULD NOT BE WATCHING THIS AT WORK.

stopitsomemore: WHAT THE FUCK

whyareyoulikethis: IDK

stopitsomemore: seriously

stopitsomemore: it's like

stopitsomemore: air guitar dubcon

stopitsomemore: until it gets EVEN MORE FUCKED UP

stopitsomemore: i just --

stopitsomemore: how would this even get described

whyareyoulikethis: THIS IS ME, AT A LOSS.

stopitsomemore: I think I'm just going to have to post this exchange

stopitsomemore: because I have nothing.

whyareyoulikethis: YEAH. NOTHING. SKARSGARD TRYING TO, IDEK, RIP THE DUDE'S LEVI'S TAG OFF WITH HIS TEETH SHOULD NOT BE SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH. AND YET.

stopitsomemore

As the biggest Star Wars nerd on the FG crew, my obligation it is to bring news of Yoda's recording session for the Tom Tom GPS unit we've discussed here before. The best part is where he uses the force to shut the haters up. Anybody who cannot understand his directions is probably only driving to the dark side, anyway.

whyareyoulikethis

SMALLVILLE IS ENDING AFTER SEASON 10.

FOR THOSE OF YOU STILL WATCHING: YOU'VE ALMOST MADE IT, HAVE A MASOCHISM GOLD STAR. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO GAVE UP A LONG TIME AGO: JOIN ME IN THANKING LEX LUTHOR OR WHATEVER HIGHER POWER YOU BELIEVE IN AT THE PROSPECT OF NOT HAVING TO WATCH EVEN THE STUPID PROMOS FOR IT ON THE CW ANYMORE. MAYBE ON THE SERIES FINALE HE'LL FINALLY FUCKING FLY AFTER A SOLID DECADE OF CRAP POWERS LIKE SUPER BREATH. A DECADE, PEOPLE.

damngirl

ECLIPSE MOVIE TICKETS GO ON SALE THIS THURSDAY.

WELL FUCK-A-GODDAMN, HERE IT COMES. SHIT GIRL, GET YOURSELF TO A TERMINAL, THERE'S AN ARMY OF ~~NEWBORN VAMPIRES~~ FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS AND YOURS TRULY TO FIGHT OVER THIS SHIT.

stopitsomemore

So. Um. You guys might have noticed that I like, have strong feelings about Star Wars. And now, TomTom, on the day after the most important High Holy day of Star Wars geeks, May 4th (if you don't know why, GO KILL YOURSELF, you probably only liked the prequels, PHILISTINE), they have made it so that I can have Darth Vader, C3P0, Yoda, or Han fucking Solo giving me directions while I drive. Do you know what I would actually do if Han Solo was giving me directions in a car? That's right: I would follow them to a fucking T. If that involved driving into a tree or off of a bridge, SO BE IT.

I'm pretty sure the universe spat this out at me this morning in an effort to dim the pain that is flaring through my soul at the news that Lucasfilm and JibJab have partnered to do a retelling of Star Wars. On the one hand, I loved JibJab when it became the bleeding edge of political satire during the first Kerry and Bush dogfight 1000 years ago. On the other hand, why the fuck is Lucasfilm intent on taking the corpus of the one I loved and BEATING IT TO DEATH ALL OVER AGAIN?

stopitsomemore

THE USS HARLEQUIN IS LAUNCHING

YOU GUYS MAY NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS SUCH A MAJOR FUCKING DEAL HERE, FOLKS, BUT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO REMEMBER THE AMAZEBALLS SGA_FLASHFIC CHALLENGE THAT TURNED INTO HARLEQUIN_SGA -- THRUSTERS ON FULL. THERE ARE COWBOY HEARTS TO WRANGLE AND ABANDONED PREGNANT VULCANS TO FEND FOR AND HIDDEN PRINCES AND IMPOVERISHED REGENCY WHO THE FUCK EVERS FOR LEONARD MCCOY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH.

[porn] It's Like Double Christmas. And It Is Just Not Double Christmas Without Double Penetration

[nsfw] also [wtf] Because Seriously, This Is WTF Involving Alexander Skarsgard and Rhys Thomas

[badass] Yoda Recording Lines for the Tom Tom GPS System.

I'M SO HAPPY I COULD SUPER PEE MY PANTS

GIRD YOUR PRE-TWEENISH LOINS IT'S TWILIGHT TIME

[consumerism + why] Left is the Path to the Dark Side, Turn Right in 45 + George, WHY?

GLEE YOU ARE SO APTLY NAMED

ALL POINTS ALERT ALL POINTS ALERT

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