fangasmic

Dear Matt Smith,

I know

thatneedslube and I have been hard on you. We've made a lot of cracks about your nose, your acting skills, and your uncanny ability to come off like a creepy old man who makes us itch to contact our local sex offender register. We've probably been unfair.

Be that as it may, do you really think that playing Christopher Isherwood in a movie and having a romance with this guy will make everything better? Do you think I'm going to forgive you for The Ruby and The Smoke just because you're going to make out with a boy on screen? Do you really, honestly, think I'm that shallow?

...Okay, fine, I am. Well played, sir. YOU GOT ME.

Grudgingly yours,

whyareyoulikethis

P.S.

thatneedslube still hates you (recent Who spoilers in the link). SO THERE.

Gunn left his last boyfriend in 1982 — long before a good chunk of Runway's fans were even born — and he's not looking for another one. ''I don't think I'm meant to have a relationship in this life. I've never gotten over [the last breakup],'' he says. ''I never want to experience that level of hurt ever again.'' He adds that he doesn't regret choosing to stay single. ''My workdays are long. I'm really glad to go home and just close the door. There are other people who would say, 'That's crazy. You should want to share your life with somebody.' Ehh. I'm not there.''

Dear Tim,

Ever since that article came out about you in Entertainment Weekly a few years back we’ve been, in true Tim Gunn fashion, concerned. Actually, rather heartbroken on your behalf. No, forget that, what we really want is to know who your ex is so we can leave a flaming bag of unicorn poo on his front door for making you swear off love forever.

Getting your heart squished sucks. We know this. But Tim, your future happiness is strangely important to us. If you're legitimately in an asexual/aromantic place right now that's cool, but if not, that quote up there makes you sound like the heroine at the beginning of a Lifetime romantic comedy. It may be shameful, but we are weak to that action, and have a full skill set acquired by watching a lot of said romantic comedies. We can make this happen for you. We have the technology.

You're one of our favorite people, Tim, and we just want you to find love! Or at least get fantastically laid! Because let's be honest, if you, the classiest class act that has ever been classy, can’t make it work then what hope is there for any of us?

And so, because we care, here are some of our suggestions for the future Mrs. Tim Gunn:

( Why aren't you dating a nice boy? Are we ever going to get grandchildren? Stop being so picky. )

So there you have it. All you have to do is think about it, Tim. You're plenty awesome on your own but maybe, in the immortal words of The Eagles, a very important band for some of us around here, you better let somebody love you before it's too late.

Lots of love, invite us to your wedding,
Fanspastic

[open letters] Matt Smith, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

An Open Letter To Tim Gunn

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