thatneedslube (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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fangasmic2010-11-24 05:18 pm
thatneedslube) wrote in fangasmic2010-11-24 05:18 pm
[warnings] Warnings That Story Should Have Had
We're undecided about fic warnings here at FG. Some of us are all for them and some of us think they're dumb, but there are some things we all agree stories should warn for ahead of time. The kind of things that no author would ever actually warn you for, you know? I guess that's what fic recs are for. Regardless, please enjoy these humorous caveats.
What impossible things do you wish authors would warn for? Tell us!
Warning: One of them turns into a dog in the middle. Before the NC-17 part.
Warning: Author got an MFA degree. Probably at a for-profit college.
Warning: Nothing happens in this story
Warning: Gibbs is a centaur; I don't think they fuck while he is a centaur, but I can't be sure because it's a wip.
Warning: This is the worst smut ever
Warning: Merlin cries the entire time they have sex; not in a sexy way
Warning: This girl didn't know any anorexics in high school or else this story would have sucked less and been less inaccurate
Warning: I won't actually warn you for the shit that happens here, but it's probably super triggering to everyone
Warning: I just changed the names of the characters in someone else's Sentinel/SG-1 fusion
Warning: I think soulbonding is real.
Warning: This is going to be a summary in a Fangasmic Del.ici.ous post
Warning: I am pasting pieces of this fic into a chat window RIGHT NOW.
Warning: Even the summary has crying in it, but described as heaving sobs
Warning: Spock cries in this. Yeah, we don't know either.
Warning: Gibbs is a "tender lover" in this.
Warning: This girl didn't even bother to google a picture of a dick because otherwise, there is no explanation for this "sex" scene.
Warning: Every character in this story is a 14 year old girl, just like the author. And I mean that literally.
Warning: Written in the second person.
Warning: Author also recently blogged about her Senior Prom.
Warning: I unashamedly love the phrase "man uterus"
Warning: I'm using this story to act out my fantasies of making those assholes from highschool wish we were friends
Warning: All I know about England is the phrase "Jolly good, chaps!"
Warning: I really, really, really truly believe I am a wizard.
Warning: I hate all female characters because the existence of a vagina threatens my world view.
Warning: I am writing this to prove a point about [insert something random here]ism.
Warning: This is the script of [any movie ever] but with different names
Warning: I think jail rape is sexy
Warning: My template for gay relationships is yaoi.
Warning: What do you mean the human asshole doesn't self-lubricate? I call bullshit!
What impossible things do you wish authors would warn for? Tell us!
no subject
Warning: Pronouns are for losers. In this fic, the Forger traps the Point Man against a wall until the Sharply-Dressed Twentysomething is forced to admit the Dashing Englishman's paisley shirt is turning the Overly-Pommaded American on so much the Tattooed Older Man has maybe thirty seconds to get the World's Most Famous Extraction Duo naked before the Secretly Very Imaginative Youth comes all over the Asymmetrically-Dentured Sex-Symbol's pinstriped Boateng trousers.
Warning: Surprise Pedophilia!
no subject
Warning: Surprise Pedophilia!
...yeah. :| :|
no subject
Warning: Contains the phrase "clean manly sweat"
Warning: Contains the phrase "stripped his dick"
Warning: Mary Sue, ahoy.