Fangasmic

We're undecided about fic warnings here at FG. Some of us are all for them and some of us think they're dumb, but there are some things we all agree stories should warn for ahead of time. The kind of things that no author would ever actually warn you for, you know? I guess that's what fic recs are for. Regardless, please enjoy these humorous caveats.

( Warning: One of them turns into a dog in the middle. Before the NC-17 part. )

What impossible things do you wish authors would warn for? Tell us!