[opinions] Someone Is Wrong On the Internet! About TV!

[thatneedslube]

I saw this chart today which depicts, according to the internet, the most popular shows on TV right now. Are they serious? Or are a lot of people out there just talking about terrible, terrible things? (Because we do that all the time at FG, but we don't expect anyone to take us seriously.)

1. Mad Men - Okay, fine. All of my real life friends are watching this, and I love dudes being assholes as much as the next lady. I just can't get into it. Sorry.



2. Lost - You might have noticed that the only Fangasmic member who cared about Lost was damngirl. That is because she loves polar bears in jungles or whatever, and is capable of staying on top of that kind of thing. The rest of us got confused and itchy somewhere around episode 3, if we made it that far. But I understand from the radio that apparently lots of people got obsessed with it. Since I'm not one of them, I have a quick question: isn't it over already?



3. The Wire - I get confused because I'm fairly certain that there are at least two shows called The Wire and I don't know which one this is. Either way, I haven't watched either of them, and I'm not sure I ever intend to. (OTOH, I never intended to watch NCIS, either because I thought it was THE WORST SHOW ON TELEVISION. One day sick off work changed my mind and I haven't been the same since.)



4. The Sopranos - I know two things about this show. 1) It is about mobsters, probably. 2) The opening theme is basically the opening theme of the Flintstones but viewed backwards. Also I think this ended quite awhile ago.



5. Arrested Development - Supposedly one of the funniest shows on television. I can't stand this show.



6. The Simpsons - Taught me more about Lord of the Flies than my grade 11 English class where we actually read the book did.



7. The Office (US) - The war between people who only watch the UK version and people who only watch the US version is going strong. I took the third side: people who fast forward through half an episode to just watch Jim and Pam being cute, or people tormenting Dwight. Problem solved.


8. Breaking Bad - Isn't this about a science teacher with some crazy disease who starts dealing meth? There are like eight things I don't want to watch right there. Also the poster creeps me the fuck out, so this entry doesn't even get a picture. I can never, ever watch this show.



9. Battlestar Galactica - Had too much in the way of politics and not enough explosions / gay / nerd jokes. Basically, it wasn't SGA and I only really enjoy shows that are not dramas.



10. 24 - I watched 20 minutes of this and wanted to stab somebody or maybe myself because the characters were incredibly dumb and the show was terrible. Why did anyone watch this. Why.



11. 30 Rock - This is the first show on the list that I actually like and watch, ever. It's hilarious and one day my dreams will come true and Liz and Jack will get married and hate it and the show will end. It will be so perfect.



12. Futurama - Basically the Simpsons in space.


13. Curb Your Enthusiasm - If I never hear about this ever again, and never see this guy's face ever again it will be too soon. Who the fuck enjoys this shit.



14. Family Guy - The Simpsons in two minute bursts because they could only think of a series of short jokes and not an overarching plot for 22 minutes of television. More like the Fail Guy.



15. Keeping Up With the Kardashians - I thought maybe this was like Jersey Shore but in LA, but something tells me the Kardashians are famous for something else. Are they the name of this lady's buttcheeks? Who knows. I would have to watch the show to find out, probably.


16. Big Brother 12 - Everything I know about Big Brother I learned from that Doctor Who episode.



17. Friends - I didn't watch this show when it was new, and I don't understand why anyone cared. In fact, why are you still watching it or talking about it? Wasn't this one of the worst sitcoms in the 8pm time slot? It took up space that could have been filled with something that didn't resort to a pet monkey to up ratings.



18. House - We watched this for ages before it jumped the shark and now we like to pretend it doesn't exist. We have heard however that it is currently one of the most popular shows world wide. Maybe the rest of the world is still on seasons one and two. That would explain it.


19. SNL - When I think about SNL I remember how hilarious Celebrity Jeopardy was! But in reality it's not funny, and most of the show is a shitty band playing shitty music. Ouch.



20. Bleak House - I was going to say "Wasn't that a book written by Dickens?" Oh. Okay. I bet the BBC did a good job on it. Probably. Maybe. Who knows.



21. Supernatural - One of those shows where I liked the first two seasons and then it became possibly the worst thing on television, and yet somehow also increasingly popular. Maybe it is a demon.


22. True Blood and Vampire Diaries might as well be the same show for me, and the same thing as Twilight. Sorry again, vamp fans. All I see here is venereal diseases and angry teenagers.



23. Freaks and Geeks - I thought this show was from 1980, but IMDB proves me wrong. It's incredibly popular still because it was actually good, and short lived. Like Firefly! Firefly but in highschool without being a terrible highschool AU.



24. American Dad - The Simpsons, but unabashedly open about being completely American-centric.



25. Bones - I like this show but I couldn't tell you why. Every two years they revert the characters backwards about five years, so they've actually gotten less mature as the series has gone on. And it's not like this is Momento or something - it just comes off as bad writing.

It's a good thing the chart cut off there, or I could be here forever telling shows they suck hard and not in a fun way. This reminds me of why I hate tv and appointment viewing- you always wind up catching five minutes of something terrible.

Of course the other FG staff watch things I hate and I watch things they hate. We openly will tell you we have terrible and amazing taste. But the rest of the internet? They have to justify this stuff. Because I hate 99% of the shows on that list.