thatneedslube (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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fangasmic2010-04-21 10:03 am
thatneedslube) wrote in fangasmic2010-04-21 10:03 am
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[_finders] My Shame, Let Me Show You It
I have an addiction. Not just my love of SCIENCE, or my obvious and painful relationship with Delicious Bookmarks, but something even more shameful. It's _finders coms. You know, when you get a shiny new fandom you immediately join the community for your favourite pairing, maybe the newsletter, and of course, the fic finding community.
I make up all sorts of reasons for my membership in _finders coms, but they're all only partly true. You've almost certainly readcesperanza's fic in at least one fandom. She also occasionally makes posts like this one. After some unrelated musing about an episode of SGA, cesperanza says
True facts, guys. _Finders coms are basically a pure distillation of the only thing anyone remembers about your story. Sure, you might have written 40,000 words about the epic love of Merlin and Arthur, but all anyone is going to remember is that scene where Arthur had to watch a line of druids do Merlin for a festival, and only after twelve others did he get to take a shot himself.
I've had the experience of seeing something on one of these places and thinking "Hey, that sounds interesting" only to find out in the comments that I wrote it. I've stalked the comments on posts only to discover that I've read (multiple times) every single story recced in response. I've even posted the shameful "Hey guys, remember that story where Rodney turns into a cat?? And then he purs a lot and people pet him but really he only lets his team near, especially John????? ...I lost the link."
It's not just me, either. Going back tocesperanza's journal, she has the same experiences.
Right about now I (hope that I) sound fairly reasonable. It's all a lie, though, guys. _Finders communities might provide a fascinating meta-commentary on the way we absorb and distill fanworks, but that isn't even close to the real reason I've friended a load of these places, or why I hit "track" on comment threads there and keep a tab open to obsessively refresh.
The real reason?
Prime example: NCIS is pretty notorious for having some of the worst writing across fandoms centered around what is (or at least for the first three seasons was) one of the best shows on television. Don't let this post fool you, really. You might not be watching NCIS because you're not into military stuff, but---
Wait, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to tell you that Anthony DiNozzo on television is a smart, sexy, hard working but playful NCIS Special Agent with a massive boy-crush on his boss.
But if you go by the pile of gangbanged!Tony and raped!Tony and abusive relationship!Tony _finders requests, you'll soon realize that Anthony DiNozzo on the internet is a disaster magnet who will be taken hard, tied up, called "baby" and maybe turned into a were-rabbit when stressed out. _Finders coms aren't just a great way to find stuff like "Anthony DiNozzo prison whump" without googling that shameful phrase, they're a way to look directly into the soul of fandom.
Be careful what you wish for, guys. You want to know what a particular fandom is like? You'll get the good, the bad, and the absolutely mind-boggling on _finders coms right alongside eighteen offers for completely useless virtual cupcakes sent to you by people who don't know how to make a link.
You have to be brave to look directly into the heart of fandom. It's like looking directly into the heart of the TARDIS. Shit gets real.
For instance, parts of Merlin fandom really want to be Supernatural fandom but aren't sure if that stuff is too strong for them.
Poor, poor Castiel.
Psych fandom on the other hand, while mostly apparently stories about Shawn Spencer getting kidnapped and/or developing real psychic talents, is trying to find a rare and possibly imaginary treasure:
Okay, fine, she clearly missed the part where Shawn and Jules have zero chemistry and Shawn would probably be a terrible dad, but her heart's in the right place.
Star Trek fans, as much as they spend all their waking hours filling kink_meme prompts, are serious about this action.
What's that, you have a question about Star Trek? Just ask the Ensign in the yellow, red, or blue shirt. They'll give you more salient details than you could feed a Seh'lat.
See? There's hope for us. All of us except Smallville fans.
There are no questions, because the answer is always "Not only has every Smallville fan got this saved on their hard drive, their external, and their backup external, but all possible found stories are both terrible and scaring for life.
So here we go. All of my shameful reasons for friending _finders coms are the same as the reasons you've friended them:
But so are yours, so it's cool.
I make up all sorts of reasons for my membership in _finders coms, but they're all only partly true. You've almost certainly read
cesperanza's fic in at least one fandom. She also occasionally makes posts like this one. After some unrelated musing about an episode of SGA, cesperanza saysI just want to say, I love sgastoryfinders. I only subbed recently, but now, it's like my favorite guilty pleasure. I love the way things are summarized there; I seriously do, it's like CUT TO THE CHASE theatre. What people remember, by and large, are the MONEY SHOTS, so it's the best pimping place ever: I find tons of new stories there that I missed, but when someone's like, "What's that story where Rodney thinks everyone forgot his birthday but they didn't and there's a party and he's shocked and his lip is quivering and then he says something mean and has to duck out because he's about to cry?" OMG I WANT TO READ THAT STORY! RIGHT NOW!!!
True facts, guys. _Finders coms are basically a pure distillation of the only thing anyone remembers about your story. Sure, you might have written 40,000 words about the epic love of Merlin and Arthur, but all anyone is going to remember is that scene where Arthur had to watch a line of druids do Merlin for a festival, and only after twelve others did he get to take a shot himself.
I've had the experience of seeing something on one of these places and thinking "Hey, that sounds interesting" only to find out in the comments that I wrote it. I've stalked the comments on posts only to discover that I've read (multiple times) every single story recced in response. I've even posted the shameful "Hey guys, remember that story where Rodney turns into a cat?? And then he purs a lot and people pet him but really he only lets his team near, especially John????? ...I lost the link."
It's not just me, either. Going back to
cesperanza's journal, she has the same experiences.I've said it before and will say it again: I LOVE sgastoryfinders. It's like a list of fannish money shots that people remembered. I'm always thrilled when I'm the answer to the daily double! And today, my story Benched was searched for, and I got feedback from somebody about it.
Right about now I (hope that I) sound fairly reasonable. It's all a lie, though, guys. _Finders communities might provide a fascinating meta-commentary on the way we absorb and distill fanworks, but that isn't even close to the real reason I've friended a load of these places, or why I hit "track" on comment threads there and keep a tab open to obsessively refresh.
The real reason?
Prime example: NCIS is pretty notorious for having some of the worst writing across fandoms centered around what is (or at least for the first three seasons was) one of the best shows on television. Don't let this post fool you, really. You might not be watching NCIS because you're not into military stuff, but---
Wait, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to tell you that Anthony DiNozzo on television is a smart, sexy, hard working but playful NCIS Special Agent with a massive boy-crush on his boss.
But if you go by the pile of gangbanged!Tony and raped!Tony and abusive relationship!Tony _finders requests, you'll soon realize that Anthony DiNozzo on the internet is a disaster magnet who will be taken hard, tied up, called "baby" and maybe turned into a were-rabbit when stressed out. _Finders coms aren't just a great way to find stuff like "Anthony DiNozzo prison whump" without googling that shameful phrase, they're a way to look directly into the soul of fandom.
Be careful what you wish for, guys. You want to know what a particular fandom is like? You'll get the good, the bad, and the absolutely mind-boggling on _finders coms right alongside eighteen offers for completely useless virtual cupcakes sent to you by people who don't know how to make a link.
You have to be brave to look directly into the heart of fandom. It's like looking directly into the heart of the TARDIS. Shit gets real.
For instance, parts of Merlin fandom really want to be Supernatural fandom but aren't sure if that stuff is too strong for them.
Poor, poor Castiel.
Psych fandom on the other hand, while mostly apparently stories about Shawn Spencer getting kidnapped and/or developing real psychic talents, is trying to find a rare and possibly imaginary treasure:
Okay, fine, she clearly missed the part where Shawn and Jules have zero chemistry and Shawn would probably be a terrible dad, but her heart's in the right place.
Star Trek fans, as much as they spend all their waking hours filling kink_meme prompts, are serious about this action.
What's that, you have a question about Star Trek? Just ask the Ensign in the yellow, red, or blue shirt. They'll give you more salient details than you could feed a Seh'lat.
See? There's hope for us. All of us except Smallville fans.
There are no questions, because the answer is always "Not only has every Smallville fan got this saved on their hard drive, their external, and their backup external, but all possible found stories are both terrible and scaring for life.
So here we go. All of my shameful reasons for friending _finders coms are the same as the reasons you've friended them:
- Stalking threads about people being turned into animals
- Laughing at, and making fun of, people who post things that end with virtual hugs/kisses/foodstuffs then never responding to those posts with the link they need because they bother me
- Finding more slave fic, dubcon, and all the stuff with top!Arthur since everyone is writing bottom!Arthur lately
- Finding that shameful porn I want to re-read at 3am on a Tuesday even though I have work in the morning
- I have needs. And they are embarrassing.
But so are yours, so it's cool.