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[fact checking] WASHINGTON DC- UR DOING IT WRONG, BONES WRITERS
So, like most people who watch a lot of Cold Case Files and Forensic Files and just like Files, I've been anxiously awaiting the return of Bones, on April 1.
Which is why I was giddy as a school girl upon getting linked to some clips from the episode, "The Bones on the Blue Line". And then I spent the next few moments going "double u tee eff".
For those not familiar with my nation's capital, the titular "Blue Line" is one of the lines of transit on our remarkably idiot-proof subway transit system, running from Springfield, VA to more or less, Landover, MD, where Redskins stadium is. (And yes, the Jeffersonian is on the Blue Line. And the Orange Line, too, for that matter.) Our metro looks something like the seventies threw up inside a tin can.
Now granted, I get it. It's hard when you shoot a show set extremely in DC in Los Angeles, but here's the thing- it doesn't even really look like Los Angeles, either. The LACMTA trains look like the DC cars and some NYC cars had a baby, and it's still Metro, so the interior is even the same friendly, cream-colored plastic riddled mess.
So, what they're doing shooting on the world's most unbelievable soundstage- seriously, the tracks are like a foot below the platform, what the hell- with a reject from Disney World, I could not begin to tell you. (I mean, the lazy answer is that of course they couldn't shut down the LA Metro system, The Italian Job couldn't even do that, but like I said- lazy answer.)
This not just a moment of "Well, that's inaccurate" that I usually suffer, sitting around, looking at the costumes in the 1940 Pride and Prejudice. (They're insanely inaccurate, by the way. It hurts my soul.) It's part of a greater phenomenon of terrible research. Granted, into every procedural or otherwise technical show, some error must fall- whether it's for plot reasons, budget reasons, what ever, I get that total accuracy can't be achieved.
But for the love of god- the Red Line crashes on its own all the time! All you have to do is stand by it and WAIT. (And for that matter, let's be serious. If you're going to find a corpse in the Metro, it's going to be on the Green Line.) Frankly, I was surprised they didn't photoshop in one of their many glittering shots of the Capital by Night or the Exterior of the J. Edgar Hoover Building- just so you'd remember the show was in DC.
The point isn't so much that you have to shoot in the city you're set in- although, it's appreciated- but that this is just yet another case of how NOT to pull off the fragile illusion that you're shooting where you say you are. (I mean, you can, Exhibit A, Gossip Girl moving their production to NYC after all, as opposed to any movie actually shot in Toronto.) It's doable- all it takes is some fact checking- even to the lowest common denominator. If you're going to build a soundstage to have a Metro crash to film around in anyway- at least do it right.
Which is why I was giddy as a school girl upon getting linked to some clips from the episode, "The Bones on the Blue Line". And then I spent the next few moments going "double u tee eff".
For those not familiar with my nation's capital, the titular "Blue Line" is one of the lines of transit on our remarkably idiot-proof subway transit system, running from Springfield, VA to more or less, Landover, MD, where Redskins stadium is. (And yes, the Jeffersonian is on the Blue Line. And the Orange Line, too, for that matter.) Our metro looks something like the seventies threw up inside a tin can.
How can you solve crimes if you can't location scout?!
Now granted, I get it. It's hard when you shoot a show set extremely in DC in Los Angeles, but here's the thing- it doesn't even really look like Los Angeles, either. The LACMTA trains look like the DC cars and some NYC cars had a baby, and it's still Metro, so the interior is even the same friendly, cream-colored plastic riddled mess.
So, what they're doing shooting on the world's most unbelievable soundstage- seriously, the tracks are like a foot below the platform, what the hell- with a reject from Disney World, I could not begin to tell you. (I mean, the lazy answer is that of course they couldn't shut down the LA Metro system, The Italian Job couldn't even do that, but like I said- lazy answer.)
This not just a moment of "Well, that's inaccurate" that I usually suffer, sitting around, looking at the costumes in the 1940 Pride and Prejudice. (They're insanely inaccurate, by the way. It hurts my soul.) It's part of a greater phenomenon of terrible research. Granted, into every procedural or otherwise technical show, some error must fall- whether it's for plot reasons, budget reasons, what ever, I get that total accuracy can't be achieved.
With research like this, you will never be King of the Lab.
But for the love of god- the Red Line crashes on its own all the time! All you have to do is stand by it and WAIT. (And for that matter, let's be serious. If you're going to find a corpse in the Metro, it's going to be on the Green Line.) Frankly, I was surprised they didn't photoshop in one of their many glittering shots of the Capital by Night or the Exterior of the J. Edgar Hoover Building- just so you'd remember the show was in DC.
The point isn't so much that you have to shoot in the city you're set in- although, it's appreciated- but that this is just yet another case of how NOT to pull off the fragile illusion that you're shooting where you say you are. (I mean, you can, Exhibit A, Gossip Girl moving their production to NYC after all, as opposed to any movie actually shot in Toronto.) It's doable- all it takes is some fact checking- even to the lowest common denominator. If you're going to build a soundstage to have a Metro crash to film around in anyway- at least do it right.
