[aspirational] Is It Bad That My First That Was, "OMG, That's Hott." That's Bad, Right?

[stopitsomemore]

Because typically speaking, news that a man has -- after playing for three years -- beaten Bejeweled 2 should not inspire any sort of respect, nor, indeed, sexual desire, right?

Check the fucking insane video:

In conclusion, motherfucker BROKE Bejeweled. For everybody who has ever thought, "Oh, I'll just play a few minutes," and then emerged from like a fucking cavern with a God damn Moses beard like 8 years later -- I salute you, good sir.